How to Send a Good First Message on Adult FriendFinder

This post continues our series of Adult FriendFinder series: also check out What Women Want on AFF and Tips for AFF.

Making a standout profile is key to success on Adult FriendFinder.

But it isn’t the only thing to consider if you want successful hook ups on AFF.



The profile is part of your first impression. The second part being the first contact, which is just as important. So I am going to give you some tips when sending out your first messages on AFF.

Less is More

Less is more in a first attempt at contact. Do not send some long drawn out email stating everything you wish to do to her in graphic detail. You are not the only person to come up with that idea. And it’s kind of creepy receiving emails like this from someone who hasn’t even said hello.

Short, casual and engaging is your winning first message.

Get a Creative Message Template

If you’re not feeling creative, make a template that you can alter as you see fit for receiver. You can write it up in Word and save it.

Templates are never as effective as messages directed specifically at the user, so be sure to catch a quirk in her profile and engage it in your message.

Templates have a bad reputation. But if they increase the volume of first impressions you make, then chances are they will help you. Better to be seen/heard than passed over.

Don’t Be Pushy

If she doesn’t get back to you right away, don’t continue to send an email every single day. Give her time to respond.

It not only makes you seem pushy, but needy as well. And those are two qualities that are instant turn offs for women, on any kind of dating site, whether we’re looking for sex on marriage.

Add a Photo

Even if you have a photo on your profile, attach one in the email.

I get tons of emails on there and the ones I remember most attached a picture. Plus I don’t always get to really check profiles so I am assuming I am not the only woman who passes up emails without photos attached.

And once again refrain from sending a dick pic. I promise it does not make you stand out.

You can be different by keeping your dick under wrap. Try it!

Flattery and Mutual Interests

Give compliments and show genuine interest.

I am not saying be a kiss ass, but if you share something in common, let her know that. And when you compliment her, say something other than “nice boobs” or “RACK!”.

End with a Good Question

Lastly, when closing, end with a good question. It keeps the person on the other end engaged and conversation flowing. This is where your ability to read her profile, decipher her passions and get her to talk about herself will come in handy. 😉

It’s no guarantee you’ll get a reply. But the chances are improved.

In general, my advice is this:

Don’t be afraid to make a move, but don’t be a creep or a perv while doing it.

Sure, we know what Adult FriendFinder is all about, but that doesn’t mean you have to smack us in the face with it. Sign up now to try your luck!

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