Pass the Condom, Please: The Complete Guide to Orgy Sex, How to Find One, Plan One and Participate

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The more, the merrier! While sex with a partner (or two) can be fun, sometimes you want to kick things up a notch.

While there’s some stigma surrounding orgies, the truth is that they’ve been around for thousands of years. In fact, orgies were religious ceremonies in certain regions, with participants believing their fun would help bring a bountiful harvest.

Fortunately, we don’t have to worry about that anymore. Now orgies are all about fun.



With that said, finding, organizing, and participating in orgies can be tough, especially if you plan a larger event.

If you’re thinking of getting a little kinky with some group sex, make sure you read this article first. Here’s everything you need to know about orgy sex.

Is an Orgy Right for You?

Before we go any further, it’s important to understand that orgies aren’t everyone’s cup of tea. And that’s perfectly fine. Whether they’re too shy to give group sex a shot or they simply prefer monogamy, there’s never a good reason to yuck someone’s yum.

So, how can you be sure that an orgy is a good fit for you?

It can be difficult. You’ll want to ask yourself a few important questions.

Are You The Jealous Type?

There’s a substantial overlap between swingers and orgy participants. Often, people bring their significant other to get in on the fun.

But it’s understandable that an orgy isn’t right for every couple. Before agreeing to group sex, make sure that you’re okay with your partner engaging in play with others and vice versa.

Orgies aren’t only about sex, but trust. Everyone going into the event needs to trust, value, and respect one another for the event to be a success.

Talk things over with your partner. Make sure that this is something you both want to do before agreeing to go any further.

Why Do You Want to Participate in Orgy Sex?

Whether you’re going in solo or you’re bringing a partner, consider your motivations for participating in an orgy.

Are you looking to expand your sexual horizons? Maybe learn some new positions?

To maximize enjoyment, know what you want to get out of the orgy.

How to Find an Orgy

If you’re still reading, you’ve checked your motivations and have cleared the event with any partners. Now comes the fun part: finding your first orgy!

But most of the time, orgies aren’t something you stumble into. You’ll have to know where to look. Here are some tips on how to find an orgy.

Sex Clubs

No matter how small your town is, there’s a good chance that there’s a sex club near you.

This is the good news. The bad news is that an Average Joe can’t just walk into a sex club off of the street and start having sex with people.

Once you’ve found a club in your area, contact the owners and ask about their dress code, cover charge, and policies. Some clubs won’t let single guys in, for instance, while ladies may get in for free. Meanwhile, other clubs will only let couples in.

The rules vary from club to club, so don’t expect protocol at one club to be the same at another club.

Still, sex clubs are great because they take the guesswork out of meeting new people. You’re all there for one reason and one reason only.

FetLife

If you’re a regular reader and don’t have a FetLife account, you’re missing out. FetLife is a social network dedicated to helping others share their kinks.

It’s full of steamy photos, videos, forums, and more. It’s also a fantastic place to find locals.

FetLife’s search functionality lets you search by kink or region. Who knows, your neighbors may be hotter than you think.

APPreciate Technology

Tech and sex go hand-in-hand. One of the best ways to find orgies in your area is through dating apps.

Yes, that may sound strange. But remember that Tinder started as an app solely for hookups.

There are a few apps you’ll want to check out to get started.

Personally, we recommend Kasidie. You can read our review here. Kasidie is a dating site tailored for couples and shares a lot in common with Fetlife.

For something more mainstream, look into friend matching apps like ClIQ or Cheers, which matches people up based on their interests. While there’s no guarantee finding an orgy on these apps will be easy, you can tailor your account to increase your chances.

Planning Your Orgy

Maybe you’d rather bring the fun to you. Planning an orgy is a lot tougher than most people think. There are a ton of logistical factors that often get ignored.

To make the process easier, we’ve compiled a list of helpful prep tips.

Start Small

If you’ve never participated in or planned an orgy, don’t rush in. Your first foray into group sex can often be overwhelming.

To help you adjust, you’re better off starting with a threesome or swapping partners with a couple. These smaller, more intimate sexual encounters still give you the fun feel of group sex, but in a much different environment.

Less pressure and fewer people means you can learn how to work with multiple partners at once. After your first few threesomes or couples encounters, you’ll have a good feel for the general vibe of an orgy.

Bring in Some Seasoned Vets

An orgy with only first-timers sounds like a disaster. Everyone would be too shy to make the first move, making the event more like a junior prom than a sexy gathering.

For this very reason, make sure to invite at least a few people with at least a little bit of orgy experience. If worse comes to worst, they’ll be able to take initiative and help out where needed.

Keep The List Balanced

Speaking of the invite list, balancing your invites can be a challenge. What’s the right ratio?

In truth, there’s no right answer. It all depends on the sexual preferences of your guests. If your guests are comfortable engaging with partners of the same sex, a good ratio is 3:2 guy/girl.

With a 3:2 ratio, guys can interact with one another as well as share women and engage in double penetration, hand jobs, oral sex, and pretty much anything else your kinky mind can come up with.

Play it Safe

Far and away, this is the most important rule: it doesn’t matter how well you know each other — always engage in safe sex.

Have each couple or participant bring condoms and lubricant. To keep things safe, it’s best to screen participants beforehand.

STD screenings are covered by most healthcare providers. You may also be able to get tested at your local Planned Parenthood or health clinic.

Safe sex is good sex. Always use protection.

Set Rules

Orgies are fun and hectic. It can be easy to miss out on an upset participant or cross a boundary without even knowing it. To make sure your guests have a good time, establish guidelines for your orgy ahead of time.

Clarify the types of behavior that aren’t acceptable, and let guests know that they’ll be kicked out should they fail to follow the rules.

This includes safewords. Let everyone know that if they aren’t comfortable with something, they don’t have to agree to do it.

Provide a Sex-Free Space

A sex-free space at an orgy may sound ridiculous. But after some fun, it’s nice to kick back and take a breath or two.

Create space where guests can chat, rest, and recharge before joining in on the fun again.

Stay Hydrated

Sex is a workout and a good one at that. Make sure guests have plenty of nourishment for their activities. In your sex-free space, include water and small snacks for guests who feel famished.

Women, in particular, lose a lot of fluid during sex, so make it easy to replenish any lost water.

Leave Your Inhibitions at the Door

While technology allows us to explore our sexuality in new and exciting ways, there’s still a stigma around group sex. Understandably, you may feel self-conscious or nervous during your first encounter.

Don’t feel bad, this is common.

The trick is to shake your nerves and leave your inhibitions at the door. Remember that everyone is there for the same purpose.

It’s Okay to Say No

Rules aren’t just for guests. It’s absolutely fine to say no to something you’re uncomfortable with.

You’re likely expanding your boundaries already by participating in an orgy. If a guest pressures you, show them the door.

Have Everyone Help Clean Up

Needless to say, orgies can get messy. So when it comes time to end the fun, recruit a few guests to help clean up.

Make sure to wash your hands regularly and tie up any used condoms before tossing them in the trash.

Final Thoughts on Orgy Sex

Orgy sex can be a hot, sensual time for everyone involved provided the event is organized well. If you’re thinking about participating in or organizing an orgy, make sure you follow these tips to ensure a safe, sexy time.

And don’t forget to pick up some toys for the event! Check out our guide to Vegas’ best sex shops so you can add to the fun.



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