Proper Etiquette When Visiting A Massage Parlor

So, you’re all knotted up from the stress of the day. A massage seems like just the thing. You know the massage would brighten your day, especially if it included a happy ending.

However, when you call to schedule an appointment, you realize…you don’t know the proper protocol. You don’t actually know how to ensure your ending is ‘happy’.

Okay, let’s go through some of the small print.



Extras: You are never to mention anything about options, extras or menus. You will likely get a clip in your ear. Don’t mention this whilst walking in the door. You are only to have that conversation when you are behind closed doors with your chosen masseuse. If you go to the front desk asking, you are probably going to be kicked out without hesitation.

If it is a traditional parlor, you won’t even have to mention happy ending. The masseuse will go ahead and present your options. This is where you establish your happy ending – not while you’re hurrying out of your coat at reception.

Assumptions: Do not assume the massage parlor is a whorehouse. Full service may or may not be on the menu. Nonetheless, do not make the mistake of thinking a masseuse is an escort. Most massage parlors do not offer sex as a service.

Relax: Let the masseuse do her job and work out all the kinks. You are nervous, of course. You are about to let a complete stranger massage you, and then maybe get jerked off. But she is just as nervous as you are. So try to relax and be in the moment. It certainly makes your ending a little happier.

One last thing to keep in mind, you are never to make the first move.

It is her job to make any first move.

If she doesn’t make a first move, you haven’t got a happy ending. You’ve got a massage and jerking off to look forward to when you get home.

Your masseuse will give you the run down of the massage and any extras she may offer. Don’t say anything. Once you go a few more times, it will be cake. You will go in, do your thing, and be on your way.

It’s really simple. Don’t make it more difficult than it needs to be.

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