The Ultimate Guide to Throwing the Hottest Swingers Party for Beginners

Could you imagine spending $10,000 a year traveling all over the country to attend swingers parties? For some, swinging is a serious past time and for them, this is feasible. 

For most though, swinging activities are kept local. There are a ton of apps out there to help people find other couples who are also adventurous.

But this is limited and can be time-consuming. It would be so much easier to host a party and have a bunch of couples in one place. 

So ready to get off the swinging apps and to throw your own swingers party? Let’s start planning! 

Talk to Your Partner 

If you are single, great! Throw any party you like! If you have a significant other, you need to respect their feelings. 

Sit down and discuss the party with them. Make sure they are comfortable with the idea. Set your own couple’s boundaries before the party. 

Discuss all of the possibilities for the evening. For example, how will they feel when they see you engaging with someone else?

This way you can fully enjoy the party without worrying about causing any conflict. 

Look Outside Your Circle of Friends 

Most people are not open and willing to talk about their sexual fantasies, let alone actually engaging in them. You should also keep in mind that swinging with your friends will change the friendship. 

This could be a good or bad thing depending on how the experience goes. You may find that it is easier to keep your current group of friends separate from your swinging activities. 

If this is the case, you’ll need to branch out. You could try looking online or attending some local swinging clubs. Look to invite people that you trust, are good looking, and understand how to act at a swingers party. 

Invite the Right People 

What makes a party? The right people of course! You can’t just throw a regular party and invite all of your friends and expect it to turn into a swingers party. 

Look to invite people who are open to sexual experimentation. They should be open to casual sex and possibly some fetish play. 

Most importantly, whoever you wish to invite needs to be able to be mature about the whole thing. 

Avoid These Guests 

Setting the right tone means avoiding those people who will make the party uncomfortable. Avoiding inviting people who give you a weird vibe. 

Weird Feeling

The saying is true, follow your gut. If you have a bad gut feeling about someone, follow it. 

These people tend to lack social awareness. Not everyone knows what we do, real life is not like porn. 

A swingers party starts out like any other party, there’s chatting, dancing, and some food and drinks. People hang out, get to know each other, and make connections. 

Mood Swings

Avoid inviting people who have rapid mood swings. These people are unpredictable and can derail your party in a heartbeat. 


Avoid anyone who acts immature. Sex is an adult activity, you don’t need someone who will engage in risky behavior because they can’t make mature decisions. 

Not Attractive 

Attractiveness is relative, but you should aim for a certain level of general attractiveness. Otherwise, you risk someone not finding what they are looking for and leaving feeling disappointed and rejected. 

What’s Your Theme?

No, we aren’t talking about the color of the balloons, we are talking about the type of swinging party you wish to throw. There are a couple of common types of parties you could choose from. 

Soft Swapping

A soft swap party lets couples trade partners and engage in kissing, cuddling, and oral. However full sex isn’t allowed. 

Full Swapping 

If you want to engage in sex then you want to host a full swap party. This puts everything on the table as a possibility. 

BDSM Friendly 

When you host a BDSM party you should be prepared for guests to bring their equipment with them. This may mean requiring a lot more space than a typical party requires. Depending on what the acts include, it could get messy.

You also need to establish some very clear and hard rules for the party beforehand. Then enforce the rules during the party. This ensures that everyone has a safe and enjoyable time. 


These parties consist of couples that wish to watch each other engage in sex with someone else. It could be a couple swapping or a couple and a single third party. 

Group and Gangbang 

These are very specific types of parties that tend to be very large in number. It will get confusing and hectic. 

If you are not experienced hosting swingers parties is probably best to not host these parties. A group party will require you to find a large number of couples to all engage with each other at once. 

While a gangbang will mean finding a large number of men that are willing to participate. 

Where Will You Party? 

If you are going to host the party at your home, you are going to need at least three rooms. Of course, this depends on the size of your party. 

You want to make sure that you have plenty of spaces for couples to retreat to when the fun starts. Remember, just because people are swapping does not mean they want an audience. 

If your home isn’t large enough you could consider renting a home, a large hotel suite, or even a couple of hotel rooms in a row. 

Whatever space you decide on, you want to make sure that it is clean and spacious. You also need to think about the cost of any potential damage if you think your guests may get rowdy. 

Don’t forget that you need a space for socializing before the fun starts. This is where there is food and dancing. 

To make things easier for your guests, assign rooms roles. This way your guests know that the bathroom is for bathroom activities and not another playroom. 

Pick Your Music 

Use the right music to set the mood for your party. Keep in mind the guests you are inviting–you want them to enjoy the music you select. 

Don’t pump the music up so loud that people can’t talk to each other. No one wants to yell at the person standing right next to them. 

Get the Party Started 

Most people need some time to warm up to the idea of sex. You can help get things going by setting up some drinking games. 

How about an old fashioned game of spin the bottle? Or you could have a game of strip Twister. 

Tell Your Guests the Rules 

To ensure that everyone has a great time, make sure that all of the guests know the rules from the get-go. Here are some rules that should always be a part of your rules list. 

No always means no. No one should feel pressured to do something that they don’t want to do. Any party guest who doesn’t accept rejection should be asked to leave. 

Always respect couples. If a person’s partner isn’t ok with you playing with their partner, then that still means no. Stop immediately if you notice that someone’s partner isn’t happy. 

Safety first. Make sure there are plenty of supplies available so that people can play safely. 

Any arguments or disagreements need to be taken outside. The middle of the party is not the place for a couple spat. 

Respect the room roles. Don’t use the social room or the bathroom for your sexual adventures. This only makes things awkward for everyone. 

When Its over 

Once the party is over and the guests have left, make sure you clean up. If you rent a venue space, you’ll want to be welcomed back. We know hotel rooms have a cleaning staff, but don’t leave used condoms everywhere for them to pick up. 

You’ll also want to think back on the evening. How where the guests? Did they have a good time? 

Is there anyone that you shouldn’t invite next time? 

Think about how the venue and room were set up. Make notes for next time on the things that you would do differently. 

Throw a Killer Swingers Party

As you can see, anyone can throw a party, but it takes some thought and planning to throw a successful swingers party. If you want to throw your own party, start by talking it over with your partner. 

If they are on board, then you can start planning your guest list. You want to make sure you have the right mix of attractive and engaging people. 

Then you’ll want to decide what type of party you are going to throw. Not everyone is into the same type of swinging, so you need to make sure that everyone will enjoy what you are planning. 

The final step is to set up your room, the food, and activities. 

Looking for more information on swinging? Then check out our blog

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